Why funk and Christmas are a natural fit

On Christmas Day, in the stable right next door to where you-know-who was born, Joe and Mary Funkenstein also had a baby, whom they called Doctor, in the hope that he would become one. Alas, the attempted nominative determinism failed, because before he could even crawl, Doctor was hammering away with his tiny fists on the pots and pans that Joe and Mary sold for a living. Soon they had to skin Nora, their goat, to make heads for these mock drums – whereupon the aggrieved Nora stopped giving milk. Before long Doctor began humming bass lines while he drummed, and the religion of funk was born.

Alas, most members of the Doctor’s first band, The Bethlehem Funk Wits, were crucified for not counting in their songs using Roman numerals. Doctor escaped, and so began a long, long line of Doctor Funkensteins, leading right down to the drummer in The Funk Klub.

The Funk Klub – singers Buddy McFunk (Andy McDonnell) and Doris Darque (Jill Day), guitarist Brother Funk (Craig Reardon), keyboardist Professor Steamfunk (Nigel Glassey), bassist Count Otto von Schlapentickel (James Roy) and drummer Dr Funkenstein (John Shand) – funk up songs that didn’t start out that way, allowing multi-skilled audience members to giggle and dance simultaneously. So if you ever wondered why funk and Christmas are such a good fit, now you know. But sleigh bells don’t really cut it when the alternative is funk-induced hip gyrations in the plush environment of the Baroque Room.

The Funk Klub Xmas Party: Baroque Room, Dec 10, 8pm, $20 at https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/462677730547 or Velvet Fogg; $25 at door.